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I heard about this woman who called the police about a poorly delivered burger. I finally found a transcript and realized it was worse than I thought. You be the judge.

Dispatcher: Sheriff’s department, how can I help you?

Woman: Yeah, I’m over here . . . I’m over here at Burger King right here in San Clemente.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: Um, no, not San Clemente; I’m sorry, I live in San Clemente. I’m in Laguna Niguel, I think, that’s where I’m at.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: I’m at a drive-through right now.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: I went . . . I ordered my food three times. They’re mopping the floor inside, and I understand they’re busy . . . they’re not even busy, okay, I’ve been the only car here. I asked them four different times to make me a Western Barbeque Burger. Okay, they keep giving me a hamburger with lettuce, tomato, and cheese, onions, and I said, "I’m not leaving . . ."

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: I want a Western Burger because I just got my kids from Tae Kwon Do, they’re hungry, I’m on my way home, and I live in San Clemente.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: Okay . . . she said, she gave me another hamburger; it’s wrong. I said four times, I said, "I want it to go. Can you go out and park in front?" I said, "No, I want my hamburger right." So then the . . . the lady came to the manager. She . . . well whoever she is, she came up and she said, um, she said, um, "Do you want your money back?" And I said, "No, I want my hamburger. My kids are hungry and I have to jump on that toll freeway." I said, "I am not leaving this spot," and I said, "I will call the police," because I want my Western Burger done right! Now is that so hard?

Dispatcher: Okay, what exactly is it you want us to do for you?

Woman: I . . . send an officer down here. I . . . I want them to make me . . .

Dispatcher: Ma’am, we’re not gonna go down there and enforce your Western Bacon Cheeseburger.

Woman: What am I supposed to do?

Dispatcher: This is . . . this is between you and the manager. We’re not gonna go and enforce how to make a hamburger; that’s not a criminal issue. There’s . . . there’s nothing criminal there.

Woman: So I just stand here . . . so I just sit here and [block]?

Dispatcher: You . . . you need to calmly and rationally speak to the manager and figure out what to do between you.

Woman: She did come up, and I said, "Can I please have my Western Burger?" She . . . she said, "I’m not dealing with it," and she walked away. Because they’re mopping the floor, and it’s also the fact that they don’t want to . . . they don’t want to go through there . . . and . . . and . . .

Dispatcher: Ma’am, then I suggest you get your money back and go somewhere else. This is . . . this is not a criminal issue. We can’t go out there and make them make you a cheeseburger the way you want it.

Woman: Well . . . that is . . . that . . . you’re supposed to be here to protect me.

Dispatcher: Well, what are we protecting you from, a wrong cheeseburger?

Woman: No . . .

Dispatcher: Is this like . . . is this a harmful cheeseburger or something? I don’t understand what you want us to do.

Woman: Just come down here. I’m not . . . I’m not leaving.

Dispatcher: No ma’am, I’m not sending the deputies down there over a cheeseburger. You need to go in there and act like an adult and either get your money back or go home.

Woman: She is not acting like an adult herself! I’m sitting here in my car; I just want them to make my kids a . . . a Western Burger.

Dispatcher: Ma’am, this is what I suggest: I suggest you get your money back from the manager and you go on your way home.

Woman: Okay.

Dispatcher: Okay? Bye-bye.

Woman: No….

[click]

See what Snopes has to say about it.

Once upon a time, there was a dude on the rev board who would not stop talking about Vin Diesel. Seriously, every single post proclaimed Vinnie as the next coming of Jesus. For a time, it was maddening. I thought, “this kid should get over that dude. Move on, find something worthwhile in life…” I see he found a way to show his love. Check out the Vin Diesel fact machine.

Dude, I’m not expecting to have children any time soon, but this is amusing to play with. Check out the Baby Wizard.

Here are 42 albums which the Source has deemed as being worthy of 5 Mics. For the most part, I agree. Word.

Run-D.M.C. – Run DMC (1984)
LL Cool J – Radio (1985)
Beastie Boys – Licensed To Ill (1986)
Run-D.M.C. – Raising Hell (1986)
Boogie Down Productions – Criminal Minded (1987)
Eric B. & Rakim – Paid In Full (1987)
Big Daddy Kane – Long Live The Kane (1988)
Boogie Down Productions – By All Means Necessary (1988)
EPMD – Strictly Business (1988)
Jungle Brothers – Straight Out the Jungle (1988)
N.W.A – Straight Outta Compton (1988)
Public Enemy- It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back(1988
Slick Rick – The Great Adventures of Slick Rick (1988)
Ultramagnetic Mc’s – Critical Beatdown (1988)
The D.O.C. – No One Can Do It Better (1989)
A Tribe Called Quest – People’s Instinctive Travels and Paths of Rhythm (1990)
Brand Nubian – One for All (1990)
Eric B. & Rakim – Let the Rhythm Hit ‘Em (1990)
Geto Boys – Grip it on That Other Level (1990)
Ice Cube – Amerikkka’s Most Wanted (1990)
Main Source – Breaking Atoms (1990)
A Tribe Called Quest – The Low End Theory (1991)
De La Soul – De La Soul Is Dead (1991)
Ice Cube – Death Certificate (1991)
Dr Dre – The Chronic (1992)
Snoop Dogg – Doggystyle (1993)
Wu-Tang Clan – Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) (1993)
Nas – Illmatic (1994)
The Notorious B.I.G. – Ready To Die (1994)
Scarface – The Diary (1994)
Mobb Deep – The Infamous… (1995)
Raekwon – Only Built 4 Cuban Linx… (1995)
2Pac – Me Against The World (1995)
The Fugees – The Score (1996)
Jay-Z – Reasonable Doubt (1996)
2Pac – All Eyez On Me (1996)
The Notorious B.I.G. – Life After Death (1997)
Outkast – Aquemini (1998)
Dr Dre – 2001 (1999)
Nas – Stillmatic (2001)
Jay-Z – The Blueprint (2001)
Scarface – The Fix (2002)

So, maybe twice a week, maybe, I like to grab myself some Starbucks coffee. I’m no coffee nerd, so I don’t care if it’s a mom and pop or some chain store (I am a fan of the fact that Starbucks are a national chain, and I can get the same cup of coffee if I’m in Maine or Southern California). For a while, I’ve been curious about the nutritional contents of my usual, the venti soy mocha no whip. Here it is:

Calories                 330  
Fat Calories             80  
Total Fat (g)            8  
Saturated Fat (g)        1.5  
Cholesterol (mg)         0  
Sodium (mg)              160  
Total Carbohydrates (g)  59  
Fiber (g)                4  
Sugars (g)               43  
Protein (g)              13  
Vitamin A                15%  
Vitamin C                0%  
Calcium                  50%  
Iron                     30%

And that’s in the winter. During the summer (the iced months) the carbs drop 4. Without the whip, that bubble top is unnecessary. No need to contain all those extra carbs and cals that go with all that extra whip.

To check out your favorite drink, go here.

Holy crap. I cannot say enough good things about Firefox 1.0.1. This browser is a must have for all nerds. For years I was a strict Opera user. But after being hampered with some odd keystrokes, awkward mouse movements and other general annoyances, I found Firefox. The extensions are key. Nerds are all over them.

I’ll leave you with my list of extensions:

AdBlock (don’t leave home without it)
All-In-One Gestures
AutoCopy
BBcode
Disable Targets for Download
Extended Statusbar
Google Image Re-linker
Keyconfig (TOP NOTCH, removes that Ctrl-N/Ctrl-T issue with ease)
LastTab
Reload Every
Rewind / FastForward Button
Sessions Saver (HOT)
Slim Extension List
Spellbound
Tabbrowser Preferences

For Opera converts, I suggest, keyconfig, LastTab, Rewind/FastForward, Session Saver, Tabbrowser Preferences and All-In-One Gestures.

Ok, I’m a nerd. I enjoy nerd jokes and nerd activities. I once read a majority of the O’Reilly books for the sake of learning something new. Have I ever used my Perl/Tk knowledge? Not really. I did build a funny “toy” once.

Nerd jokes. The internet is lush with them. But it isn’t too often that these jokes are carried with a sense of class and decadence. Enter IT Haikus. Anyone who’s ever had to deal with IT should mediate on these. Anyone who’s had to wait over two weeks for IT to install Java 1.5 (or 5.0), will understand the value in these.

My favorite:

My reach astounds me.
I’ll reboot the Internet
so you can go surf

Holy crap. I cannot say enough good things about Firefox 1.0.1. This browser is a must have for all nerds. For years I was a strict Opera user. But after being hampered with some odd keystrokes, awkward mouse movements and other general annoyances, I found Firefox. The extensions are key. Nerds are all over them.

I’ll leave you with my list of extensions:

AdBlock (don’t leave home without it)
All-In-One Gestures
AutoCopy
BBcode
Disable Targets for Download
Extended Statusbar
Google Image Re-linker
Keyconfig (TOP NOTCH, removes that Ctrl-N/Ctrl-T issue with ease)
LastTab
Reload Every
Rewind / FastForward Button
Sessions Saver (HOT)
Slim Extension List
Spellbound
Tabbrowser Preferences

For Opera converts, I suggest, keyconfig, LastTab, Rewind/FastForward, Session Saver, Tabbrowser Preferences and All-In-One Gestures.

Ok, this is a fresh start. Today is the beginning of a new world for me. Feel free to browse the site. Let me know if you have any questions/comments. Also, stuff those tongues!