I’m driving west on Rt 2 in Mass in my imola yellow VW GTI around 7:50pm. I stop at the red light at Crosby’s Corner. Two lanes turn left, I’m in the rightmost lane aka the slow lane. A beat to shit truck pulls up next to me with a flannel wearing old man driving. He’s looking over at me like he wants to chat. The Smiths come on the shuffle, and I’ll gladly turn it up to rock out a bit. Hands tapping on the wheel, I’m getting into it. No singing, or mouthing words, but I’m into it.
The light is about to turn green when he revs his engine. Now maybe it was just his engine getting wound up, preparing to go, but I’m almost sure he’s revving his engine at me. At this point, two thoughts simultaneously go through my head.
1) “Ok, let’s do this.”
2) “Is this old man joking?”
So I give him a little head start and before going past the gas station, I’m already 10 feet beyond him. A few hundred yards down the road, I pull into his lane to pass an 18 wheeler. We go through the green light for rt 126 and head to the next light. The one at Bridge St is red, turning green. I get in the left lane to go left, and he passes by me going straight.
As he passes me, he yells out the window, “FAGGOT!”
This old man obviously called it like it is. So here are my theories on how he came to this conclusion:
1) Only homosexuals drive yellow cars.
2) Only homosexuals can drive better than him.
3) Listening to The Smiths is for homosexuals. He obviously knew who Moz is. He may not be a Suede Head, but he knows.
4a) Wearing an x-rated swatch is a key indication of homosexual tendencies.
4b) The man saw my watch when the Second, Minute and Hour hand were forming a ‘Y.’ The Minute hand on 10, The Second hand on 2, The Hour hand on 7. “XY” yeap.
5) He noticed I had a tail light out. Yelling “Faggot!” was code word for “Your left tail light is out.”
I’m guessing #5 is the actual reason. I may never know, though.
So here’s to that guy. I present to you the soundtrack for “being called a faggot by an old man in a truck while driving an imola yellow gti.”
I hope you enjoyed.