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well daddy don't you know that things go in cycles
The way that Bobby Brown is just ampin like Michael

Consider that the truth. It holds in basically all aspects of life, including hardcore shirt sales on ebay. This week, we'll be reviewing how shirt size, design and current popularity affect final auction prices.

Lets start if off with American Nightmare. Now American Nightmare is HUGE. No doubt. They've always been big. Even when they just had a demo out (fuck, such an amazing demo). Things go in cycles, check this auction that ended this morning (while I was in a meeting, double fuck).

American Nightmare - Flag. Size L

This shirt dates WAY back. Probably 2000 or 2001. That's 7 years ago for those who aren't counting. And somehow, SOMEHOW, this dope shirt ended for $5.50. That's right, $5.50. That's the same price as a Triple Venti Soy Latte at Starbucks. You can see the ridiculousness now. However, it's a size large, and we all know that kids love schmediums or YLs these days. Plus, the image doesn't scream Fall Out Boy / Emo Fan. It probably wouldn't go well with a white belt either.

American Nightmare - If I Could Draw What My Heart Feels. Size S

Then there is this shirt. I recall this one sitting on the merch table for a bit. Cool drawing, I suppose. Super emo. And a size small. Yeap, $26 final price. And of course, I believe this value is down from previous months when this shirt was selling for $40+. Is the American Nightmare hype over?

Moving on, lets check Cold World.

Cold World - 1917 Pre-Order. Size YL

So here we have an unworn Youth Large. But the color is semi-dreaded white. That should be ok, a lot of Cold World shirts are printed on white blanks (more bands should print on white blanks. Eff a black shirt. I'm not emo, I don't need anymore black shirts). And those other shirts sell reasonably well. But for some reason, this shirt came in at a paltry $5. Yeap, cheaper than that fancy latte. And I bought one a month back for $2.25. What's going on here? This shirt is chill.

Cold World - BAPE. Size S

White shirt, size small and worn. You're probably thinking, ok, this one should clock in pretty low at final auction price. Not so. This one hit $26. Most likely due to the Bathing Ape reference. Of course, this shirt was on MerchNOW for what seemed like years. And yes, someone did cut the tags out of the shirt. SMH.

Ok, so maybe kids are finicky over newer bands. What about a perennial favorite like Ten Yard Fight?

Ten Yard Fight - Back On Track Tour 97. Size XL

This shirt has obviously been around the block. Hell it's over 10 years old and probably has seen a pit or two. It is a size XL but kids aren't afraid of tailoring so you'd think it'd be a hot and heavy seller. Nope. The $1.25 minimum bid wasn't even made. Not one bidder! Sacrilege.

Ten Yard Fight - Blood Will Run Pure. Size M

So the last shirt had no bidders. This shirt appears to be in the same condition and is definitely from the same age, but shockingly, this one sold for $20.50. I guess, kids are still afraid of tailoring, or just wearing clothes that don't show off their man nips.

We'll finish it off with Mental. Mental shirts are always ill in my opinion. Greg Mental, Jay Bil and even MorGODo (just kidding Morgado) produced some ill shirts over the years.

Mental - Planet Mental - Posi #s '05. Size M

Now this was a pretty dope little design. Take the album cover, play with placement and BAM, chill shirt. I think Greg and Co did a bunch of different colourways for this shirt (grey/blue, black/blue, black/white, ...). This one is definitely chill. But somehow, it only sold for $1.34. You can't even buy a blank t-shirt for that little. That's just stupid.

Mental - Knife Fight Tour. Size S

Here's a cool MorGODo drawing, chill colors and size small. I would estimate this one would sell for over $20. At the very least. Was I right? No. Was I close? Not really. This one clocked in at $4.29, which is the price of a Venti Soy Latte (two shots of espresso, instead of 3). That pretty much hurts my feelings.

So what can I conclude from this array of ebay end auctions? Honestly? Not a hell of a lot. Except that kids are picky petes and wouldn't know a good tshirt if it punched them in the face. I suppose that works in my favor though. Instead of fighting kids for Fastbreak tees, I can just sit back and let them come to me for pennies on the dollar. The real losers here are the sellers and the kids who don't properly appreciate Fastbreak and their merch (shout outs to AJT).

Until next time, PEACE! And quit bidding on those 4 sided Uniform Choice tees.